The Rider’s Mind Podcast Episode 35: Q & A – How do I do it all?

I’ve had a few people asking Michelle, how do you get it all done?  Here’s the short answer: I don’t!  I don’t get it all done. I do let things slide.  I am not perfect. I also get help. In this episode, I’ll share more about “doing it all”. 

Question:  Michelle, how do you do it all?

I have several businesses and I have two kids, plus I get to jackpots and rodeos.  I’ve got a lot on the go. So, my short answer to this question is: I don’t do it all.  There are many things on my to do list that never get done, there are many things I’d like to do that aren’t likely going to happen and there are many things I should do that I let slide.

I do get a lot of things done.  Those are all the things you see.  What you don’t see are all the things I don’t get done.  

I also don’t do it alone.  I have help.

I used to want it all, do it all, have it all because I didn’t have enough of what I wanted. Now my attitude is based on the faith that I can want it all, but I trust that all that is actually for me, will come to me and find me and I’ll find space for it in my life. I believe I already have all that I need,  so I don’t need to “do” anything to have more.

But how do I get done what I do?

When I look back to when my kids were little, I’m not sure how I did what I did.  I see now that trying to do it all and do it all myself had a negative impact on my health.  I wish I had the attitude I have now, back then.

Now I am much better at asking for help. I am better at prioritizing.  I have adjusted my standards for myself.

Getting better at asking for help started with me getting a housecleaner that comes every two weeks.   We spend a couple hours tidying before she gets here and then she does the deep cleaning. For years I wanted a house cleaner, but I was hung up on the pride of needing to do it myself to prove my worth.  Basically, I wanted to prove that I could keep a house and prove that I was worthy of staying home. I also had a limiting belief that housekeepers were for rich people or people that couldn’t look after themselves.  That is clearly not true – it was all in my head.

I decided I would rather be doing something else in that cleaning time and that I deserved the help.   I was worthy of help and it didn’t make me less of a Mom or wife to get someone to do some tasks that I really despised.  It costs me $60 and, honestly, if I had to I wouldn’t give her up if it meant I had to miss a jackpot, or stop eating for a week to be able to afford her.   It’s the best money I spend every two weeks.

At first, I found myself cleaning with her.  Now I’ve calmed down on that a bit. I can sit and drink from my I am worthy mug and enjoy the help.  I really value a clean space and it feels like I’ve been pampered after she leaves.   It really feels like self-care to me. She is very important to us.

Then, I started to learn about how important it is to value your time in business.  

I learned the importance of staying in my zone of genius and focusing on things I love to do and am really good at.   If I could make $125 doing a private session, then my time wasn’t well spent if I was creating graphics or posting on social media when I could pay someone quite a bit less to do that job. Plus, those are not jobs that are in my zone of genius.    

Part of the problem with letting go of some of these jobs was my need to control things. I also had a limiting belief that adding staff would just complicate things and be a big headache as I dealt with people.   When I decided to hire someone, I cleared that limiting belief and adopted the beliefs that the perfect person was out there for me, that it would work smoothly and that it would be a good experience for everyone.  

In the end, I ended up hiring two people on contract.  It is working out awesome. I have Leah Obach who does graphic design and the podcast show notes for us and Shelby Wickson of Sweetgrass & Saguaro who does the social media scheduling and posting for us.  These ladies have been very professional. I trust them fully and they have taken a lot of weight off my shoulders. They have opened space for me to create content for you.  I really don’t think I would be able to pull this off and still be sane without the help.

I know many of you are probably thinking, Well that’s nice for you Michelle, but I don’t have the money to hire a cleaner or to get help with my business    

Honestly, I haven’t seen a financial return on this help, but my sanity has improved greatly and it’s a matter of priority for me.    

Would I rather ride a horse to train and sell than create graphics and post on social media regularly?  Yes.  

Would I rather be in the red some months while I grow my following and work on the long game?   Yes.    

Would I rather work in my zone of genius and bring great content to the world than be torn in many directions?  Yes.     

We all make choices and I’m choosing to get help instead of trying to do it all.  

I’ve done it all and it came at a cost to my health.

My family and my husband are very supportive.  They help with the kids. Murray is a very hands-on Dad and has never hesitated to take the kids so I can do my own thing.  Our parents are very good at taking the kids when we need help too.  

So how do I do it all? I don’t, I let many things slide.

I do work hard to keep my word to myself and others because integrity is a strong personal value of mine.   But I definitely don’t get it all done. I certainly don’t get everything done without help.

I would encourage you to start getting better at asking for help too.  Whether it’s paid help or making a trade, you’d be surprised what weight can be lifted off you when your focus is on things that you love to do.  

If money is an issue, consider what you could do to generate more money or calculate how much more you could make if you weren’t doing that one task that drags you down.  Maybe you get a house cleaner on Saturday and you pick up an extra shift instead because you’d rather work than a clean house.

This isn’t about house cleaning,  but about making choices that work for you and feel good instead of having to do tasks that drag you down.

I hope I’ve inspired you to think about where you can ask for help so you can focus your time on your zone of genius and on things that light you up.

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