"Blogcast" Audio reading of Feeling Like A Fraud In The Horse World
Have you ever felt like you aren't good enough or you don't belong? Are you trying to achieve a goal but wonder “who am I”? to be doing this?
Who am I to be entering rodeos when I have never won a jackpot?
Who am I to be taking training horses when I haven't even made the rodeo finals?
Who am I to be breeding horses when I don't even ride?
Who am I to be charging someone for horse pictures when I've never gone to school for it?
Who am I to be giving roping lessons when I'm only a number 4 roper myself?
Who am I to have won this event, I don't even know what I'm doing!
Or maybe it's something else for you, but you catch my drift.
Feeling like a fraud in any event and in many aspects of life including business or work is very common. So common it has a name. It's called the Imposter Syndrome.
It's not a disease or a mental condition. You can't catch it, but most everyone, at some point in their life, is going to experience the feeling.
It's a lack of confidence in what you know, a feeling that you're not enough and a feeling of not belonging in the shoes you're trying to walk in, or that you're currently wearing.
Powerful people and people from all walks of life experience this. It doesn't matter if you're running a billion dollar company, experiencing “celebrity” status or been asked to arrange flowers for Oprah, all these people ask themselves if they're actually good enough for the job they've been asked to do.
If I'm a horse trainer and someone I look up to and admire asks me to train their horse, my imposter syndrome might kick in and say “What me? Are you sure I'm good enough”? Or you tell yourself the story that everyone must have been full if they asked you. Meanwhile, the truth is, they wouldn't have asked if they didn't think you were enough.
Or maybe you're moving up the ranks from amateur rodeos and jackpots and you've entered some pro rodeos. You know you're good enough or you wouldn't have entered, but imposter syndrome (thanks ego) shows up and asks you why you think you would belong at a pro rodeo.
For me, I am really confident speaking to a group of strangers no matter how large the group is. But to speak from my heart and share my knowledge and expertise to my peers and people I know personally, my inner narrative really likes to play with me. “They're really going to think I'm whackado now” “What if they think I'm full of shit?” Imposter Syndrome at it's finest just toying with our insecurities.
Worrying that we're going to be seen as a fraud has kept many from the success that they could have otherwise had. It has kept people from going for it and embracing an opportunity.
Keeping faith that the opportunity wouldn't have been presented to you if you weren't enough for it, will help you push through the syndrome. Often we won't feel “ready” for something but as they say, if you feel ready, you probably waited too long.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome starts with the awareness of the fact you're experiencing it. Knowing that's what is going on, will help you look at it from a different perspective.
“Oh hello old friend, I see what you're doing here”.
Once you've recognized what's going on, you can then look at it from the outside in. I like to imagine myself looking down (from above the room) on whatever scenario is presented and ask if what I'm sensing or feeling is actually true. Looking in on the situation will help you realize you're simply on a bit of a head trip.
It's also helpful to divulge to a friend what you're feeling. It doesn't have to be a friend that's going to blow sunshine up your you know what, but it should be someone you can rely on to set you straight. Even if it's someone that will be blunt and tell you-you're out to lunch.
Nobody likes it when Imposter Syndrome shows up, but one thing that you can take from it and use to your advantage when it does show up is to recognize the insecurities it outed while it was there.
It's totally normal to have insecurities, and when they've been called out, it's a perfect opportunity to do some inner work and go deeper into your growth and healing. This experience is just showing you that you've got some “stuff” to work on. Work on your self-worth and your enoughness at a deeper level. Ask yourself why you would feel like a fraud in the first place, and start working on the limiting beliefs surrounding the experience. This will help you move through what you're feeling and help you level up in your enoughness.
You are enough and you are worthy of your success and achievements. But, me telling you that doesn't replace the work you can be doing to feel like it's actually the truth in your own heart. Go there, learn and grow. You've got this.