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Do you know that feeling when you watch someone make a run and you don’t really feel like celebrating for them? Like you don’t feel anything bad towards them, but you just kind of feel “meh” – that was nice for them.
Then do you kind of feel like a bad person because you don’t feel sincere when you post “amazing run, I’m so happy for you” on their Facebook feed? Or maybe you don’t post anything at all, but feel like maybe you should feel happy because “everyone” else seems to?
Did I just welcome the elephant into the room here?
Wait a second, are you wondering if I mean you’re not the only horrible person out there that feels this way from time to time? No, it’s not just you.
We can thank our insecurities and a non-abundant and competitive mentality that shows up in times like this.
We compare, we wish, we might even criticize with an eye that’s usually reserved for ourselves.
Our insecurities combined with jealousy (lack mentality) show up when we are not feeling abundant. Like there isn’t enough for all of us, so if someone else has a great run that means (subconsciously) we won’t have one. It’s like our little reptilian brains think all the good runs are sold out.
The insecurity of not being as good as that run or “enough” to be that good gets interpreted as jealousy or envy.
These are all natural human feelings to have, it doesn’t make you a bad person. What it does do when you feel these things give you intel. It gives you information about where your mindset is at and whether or not you could use some work on your beliefs and confidence.
When someone posts how proud they are of their horse and how great their weekend was, they really aren’t doing it to brag. They are really just proud and happy.
Why would we interpret it as “bragging”?.
I really feel like it stems from a lack mentality that if they won, that means we didn’t. That’s a limiting belief and not true. We know this logically in our thinking brain but our subconscious feels differently.
There are many, many wins to go around, but it’s that lack mentality that will keep one from aligning with you. It’s like if they have a win, that means I didn’t. When we focus on what we don’t have, we get more of what we don’t have. That’s not a winners vibe and it’s definitely an area that could use some growth if you find yourself in these feelings sometimes.
If ever you do find yourself not feeling celebratory with someone and their success, give it some thought and ask yourself why not? What is it saying about you and what can you do about to let those limiting thoughts go? It’s those subconscious thoughts you’re having that are keeping you from being the one with the run to celebrate. It’s definitely not because you’re a horrible person.
As humans, we seem to have quite a competitive nature that comes with the ego. We are pleasing the ego by competing and ranking ourselves and comparing. I believe if we go to our hearts, the essence of our soul, we really are happy for another and what they had the pleasure of experiencing with their horse partner.
Here’s another one for you. What if you have the run worth celebrating but you’re “too humble” to share and you don’t want to come across as bragging. I would ask you why you think that you’re bragging? Do you see others as being “braggers”? Do you not feel worthy or deserving of the goodness that you just experienced in your life? Why would you be embarrassed to share your success?
These very things that keep you from sharing your success and feeling proud of yourself, are the same things that will contribute to self-sabotage and warding off any chance of success. They are limiting beliefs and are simply not true. You are worthy of success, you are deserving of moments to be proud of. You are enough to accomplish your dreams, stand in the energy of the win and own it like you’ve had it the entire time. We’re all winners if we would simply believe it. And, since we’re all connected – when someone else wins, you win too.
If you do find yourself feeling “less than” when someone else is having their time, remember they’re an apple and you’re an orange. No comparing, just knowing that there are many wins to go around and this just means yours is one run closer. Your time is coming.