The Rider’s Mind Podcast Episode 122: Why it’s So Hard to Lose a Horse

If you cry when other people cry, you might need Kleenex while you listen. This isn’t an easy topic, but in this episode I’ll talk about why it’s so hard to lose a horse. I share some ideas for feeling better about the decisions you might have to make when saying goodbye. 

Every time I’ve lost a horse, it has been difficult. If you’re like me, you may have many “forever” horses in your care. Making the decision to end a horse’s life or to help them move on is a very hard decision. Many don’t do it.

My biggest regret about Sonny, my first horse, was that I waited so long to let him go. The hardest part was making the decision to let him go. In hindsight, I would’ve done it sooner.  

As stewards of our horses’ good health and quality of life, we have the choice to help let them go.

Knowing when it’s the right time is a challenge. If you’re starting to wonder about letting one go, it probably is the right time as we typically put off these decisions as long as we can. It’s a horrible decision and we dread it.

I remember crying to my husband with my first one “Sonny” that “I don’t want to kill my friend”.  That’s what it feels like to me. You’re making the decision to end the life of your friend. To make that choice is to save them from pain and agony. Making the choice can allow them a dignified death and burial.

We have been gifted these horses into our lives and it is our responsibility to give them the best quality of life and abide by their wishes.

I don’t think horses like being a burden and being vulnerable. I have the ability to communicate with animals and know their wishes, but when my heart is involved, I’d consider consulting with a vet and another animal communicator when making my decision.

When your heart is involved it’s very hard to make an objective decision.  What’s in your heart may not be what’s in your horse’s best interest. 

I have looked into a horse’s eyes and had them beg me to help them go. When this happens, you really want to convince yourself it’s not true because it’s so hard.

When making the decision to let a horse go, you need to set your heart aside and do what’s best for the horse, not for you. 

Your heart may need this horse to fill a void in your life, but your horse doesn’t need you. You may think you need your horse to be who you have become, you may need him to hold on to all that you were. Your horse does not need that and he’s spiritually enough to know he doesn’t need that attachment.  

Your horse needs YOU to do what’s best for HIM.   

When it’s time to go, his job is done and he’s ready to move on to a better place. Energetically they are still with you, just their physical body is no longer alive. Animal spirits can visit you and be all around you just like human spirits.   

When an animal crosses over, they are free and they are elated.  That can be very hard to take when you are heart broken, but it can also be comforting to know they are with you and they are pain-free and happy.  

It’s so hard to let our friends go and let them move on because we love them.   

Our horses are our friends, our confidants, and our counselors. For many of us, we spend more time with our horses than our families. Our horses are there for our first loves, our first borns, and our first wins. They grow our confidence and they grow our network of friends. They are the glue in the web of our lives. No wonder it’s so hard to lose them. 

You need to give yourself grace and time to heal from the loss of a horse. 

It’s not “just a horse”. Give yourself time to grieve. Horses are woven into our lives. If you’ve lost a horse, go easy on yourself.

In choosing to help a horse leave their tired or sick body, you’re giving them the greatest gift: freedom.

The hurt you feel is a small price to pay for the gifts they’ve given you. Now you can give them their wings and their freedom.  

My next group energy healing session is related to this topic. In the last energy healing I did for partnership attunement, I found out that many people are resistant to connecting with their horses because of past loss.  I’ve decided to do a new moon energy healing on March 2nd, 2022.  The topic will be on loss and love and specifically for those that have previously lost a horse (or horses).    You can learn more on my website at:

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Blog Post: Why It’s So Hard to Lose a Horse

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