The Rider’s Mind Podcast Episode 34: Take Your Power Back

Any time someone irritates us, hurts us, annoys us, makes us feel small or makes us feel worthless, we have allowed them to take some of our power.  In this episode, I’ll share some tips on taking your power back.

Think of yourself as a cute little glow worm.   You are powered up and you are bright. Any time you give your power away to someone else, you lose a little bit of your light.     After a while, there are little bits of your energy here and there and you aren’t shining as bright. Or maybe there is one person that is getting brighter and brighter at your expense because he or she keeps receiving your light.

We can give our power away in many different ways.  We give up power when we…

• blame someone else and get stuck in victim mode
• hold grudges and stay angry at someone
• say yes to things because we’ve been manipulated 
• say yes when we really don’t want to, but we want to be liked 
• react poorly or unfavorably to someone else’s actions
• let someone else and their actions take up real estate in our heads when we obsess or think about them or their actions
• follow others instead of following our heart
• change who we are to suit others
• start to believe the insults or opinions of others
• let a horse make us feel insecure, defeated or incapable
• feel hopeless or helpless with a health issue

Any time you are not taking charge of your own feelings, any time you are allowing others to “make” you feel a certain way, you have given away some of your power.   Taking back your power involves seeing how you have given your power away in the first place.

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet” – Gandhi

In order to keep your power, your self-worth needs to be strong.   You need to know who you are, what you stand for and what you value so that you can see clearly that other people’s opinions of you are not connected to your value and self-worth. 

For those of us who are people pleasers, it’s natural for us to want everyone to like us.  But, we weren’t made to fit in. We aren’t meant to be like everyone else.  

Think about it this way: Does everyone like Eric Church or Lady Gaga?   No, but they’re doing ok right? They have strong self-worth. They are staying true to themselves and showing up anyway.

Your self worth needs to be independent from what others think of you.

When someone takes your power, you are actually giving it to them. You made a choice (subconsciously most often) to hand it over when you started letting them walk in your mind with their dirty feet.

We allow people to make us feel insecure. When we are triggered by certain actions, it’s bringing up parts of us that need healing.    These are areas where you have room to grow, areas to figure out. If you notice when you’re triggered, you need to think about what that reaction says about you. 

How you respond to a situation in your life is what creates the experience around it. 

When someone is sending you bad vibes, you can choose to take them or you can choose to deflect them.  If someone is sending some bad vibes, you can recognize that it says something about them and you don’t have to take those feelings as your own.   You know you are not THEIR thoughts. You’re your thoughts and beliefs.

If you chose to take their thoughts, you’ve exchanged energy and handed them over some of your little glow worm light. 

If you are having trouble getting someone out of your head, you can ask yourself “What are you benefitting from not letting go?”  “What are you benefitting from not forgiving?”

Sometimes your answer is: so you can stay a victim.  Sometimes it’s because we don’t know that we’re actually giving them more power by holding the grudge and staying angry.   Staying in that energy is more hurtful to us than to them. They’re holding the light then. Take the light back.

Sometimes we have anger from other things that we’re holding onto and we’re subconsciously glad to have someone to be angry at.   Or maybe we want a reason to be held back from moving forward because it’s easier to stay stuck than to forge ahead through unknown territory.

When you hold a grudge it takes away your ability to enjoy the present moment.    

If those muddy boots enter your mind, you can quickly get yourself out of that energy by listing things you’re grateful for. Get out of that energy by changing what you’re thinking about.

Another way we can give our power away is by looking to others for validation.  We somehow think we are more valuable when someone says so and then we end up hinging on someone else’s beliefs again.  When you do this, you’ve given someone else the invitation to control your feelings about yourself.

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to work on your self-love and your self-worth.   

Your worth really shouldn’t be connected to what others think of you (whether it be good or bad).  You are in control of your own happiness. Any time you let your life and your happiness be affected by someone, you’re choosing to do that.

By staying in a victim mindset you are blaming someone else.   You chose to be angry. You chose to let it affect how you felt. 

It’s not uncommon for us to give our power away, but it’s super important you’re aware of when it’s happening.

If you’re like me, you might be aware, but then you get frustrated when you find you’ve got to  clean up the muddy tracks. I find that it helps to take time to meditate and to imagine taking my light back.  Writing a letter of forgiveness is also very effective (even if you don’t deliver it). Energy follows imagination. If you’re quick, you can bounce comments or thoughts you’re picking up from someone right off your energetic bubble. 

Remember that you’ll continue to be triggered until you heal that part of you that is being irritated.   The lesson will continue to be repeated, so do that work and dig into what’s being revealed to you. Most often it’s self-worth and self-love that need to be addressed and sometimes it’s your need to be liked that needs to be checked too.

Remember to avoid letting someone else’s actions run your life or ruin your life.   If that’s happening, remember to get out of victim mode and see why you’re choosing to let yourself get into that energy.   Ask yourself “What are you gaining by being stuck there?”     

Take your power back and get back to doing awesome things that light you up!

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